A Fool Estimates Ocean Size and Comes Up Short

Trump’s math: A Deep Dive into the Absurdity of 625 Million Acres

In a press conference that could only be described as a masterclass in mathematical malpractice, President-elect Donald Trump declared that 625 million acres—the area protected by President Joe Biden’s offshore drilling ban—was “like the whole ocean.” Let that sink in. The man who will soon hold the highest office in the land believes the Earth’s oceans could fit comfortably into a space roughly the size of Texas, California, and Montana combined.

The Numbers Don’t Lie, But Trump Does

To put Trump’s claim into perspective, let’s break it down. The Earth’s oceans cover approximately 361 million square kilometers, or about 89 billion acres. That’s right—89 billion acres. Biden’s ban, which protects 625 million acres, represents a mere 0.7% of the total ocean area. To call this “like the whole ocean” is like saying a kiddie pool is comparable to the Pacific .

Trump’s math—or lack thereof—was on full display as he ranted about Biden’s “ridiculous” ban. “Take an acre, you have a house on a half-acre or a quarter-acre, or an acre, you have a big deal,” he said, gesturing wildly. “Now you multiply that by 625 million acres. That’s like… it feels like the whole ocean!” No, Mr. Trump, it feels like you skipped math class—and geography, and basic logic .

Biden’s Ban: A Drop in the Ocean

Biden’s executive action, issued under the Outer Continental Shelf Lands Act, protects 625 million acres of federal waters from future oil and gas leasing. This includes areas along the East and West coasts, the eastern Gulf of Mexico, and parts of Alaska’s Northern Bering Sea. The move is designed to safeguard coastal ecosystems, prevent oil spills, and support the transition to clean energy .

But for Trump, this is apparently an existential threat. “Banning offshore drilling will not stand,” he declared. “I will reverse it immediately. And we will drill, baby, drill.” He even threatened to take the issue to court, presumably because he believes the judiciary will side with his… creative interpretation of oceanography .

A History of Oceanic Misadventures

This isn’t the first time Trump has waded into the murky waters of environmental policy. During his first term, he proposed a massive expansion of offshore drilling, only to retreat after facing fierce opposition from coastal states. In 2020, he signed a memorandum banning drilling off the coasts of Florida, Georgia, and South Carolina—a move that now seems hypocritical given his current stance .

Trump’s “drill, baby, drill” mantra is a relic of a bygone era, one where climate change was dismissed as a hoax and environmental protections were seen as obstacles to profit. But as the world grapples with record-breaking temperatures and rising sea levels, his cavalier attitude toward the oceans is not just absurd—it’s dangerous .

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The Ocean: Bigger Than Trump’s Ego

The Earth’s oceans are vast, complex, and interconnected. They regulate the climate, produce half of the oxygen we breathe, and support countless species of marine life. To reduce them to a number—especially one as laughably inaccurate as 625 million acres—is to misunderstand their importance entirely .

Perhaps Trump’s comments are a reflection of his broader worldview: one where facts are flexible, science is optional, and the environment is just another resource to exploit. Or perhaps he simply doesn’t care. Either way, his ignorance is as deep as the Mariana Trench—and far more troubling .

Conclusion: A Sea of Stupidity

As Trump prepares to take office, his comments serve as a stark reminder of the challenges ahead. The oceans are not just a backdrop for his rants; they are a vital part of our planet’s ecosystem. Protecting them requires leadership, not lip service.

So, Mr. Trump, here’s a suggestion: before you start talking about the oceans, maybe take a moment to learn how big they actually are. And while you’re at it, consider the possibility that “drill, baby, drill” might not be the best slogan for a world on the brink of climate catastrophe.

After all, the oceans are vast—but they’re not infinite. And neither is our patience.