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Why Elon Musk Really Bought Twitter V2



Straight from a follower named “Spam Bot” the real reason…

Yesterday we published a story featuring a theory floated by a lady who, apparently, worked for Tesla for a decade, who believes that Elon is a “humanist” and wants to save the planet and needs Twitter to help him better communicate his ideas and solutions. No, not reinstating Trump, but she claimed it was all about global warming.

Not long after that article hit the airwaves, “Spam Bot”, reacted and posted a message (see photo below) where he (or she? or they?) outlined what’s really goin’ on:

Here’s the posted text in its entirety:

“Elon’s plan will soon be clear. Setting aside the fact the guy is an Alien (he literally admitted it) the ultimate plan is frightening. Twitter is key.

He needed to get rid of the engineers to rewrite the app.

After the re-engineering Twitter will be re-coded to subliminally force everyone to either buy a Tesla, Cybertruck or generate an uncontrollable urge to get into a Boring company pod.

Then, using the vast Starlink constellation a signal will be sent and all the Teslas, trucks and Boring pods will suddenly lock trapping the passengers inside.

The controls will freeze and they will autonomously head to the nearest Starbase launch site where flamethrower bearing a highly advanced version of the recently previewed ‘Musk clone robots will force NeuraLink implants deep into each persons cerebral cortex and then send them, like lame zombie sheep into waiting Starships for the journey to Mars.

Controlling everyone via NeuraLink, humanity will quickly devolve into a slave species, serving the Mars overlords for all of eternity. (Except for brunette Goth virgins. Virgins will be celebrated as honored guests and taken to a great feast within the Martian temple.

Afterwards they will be stripped naked, tied up and boiled alive to be consumed by the festive Martians).

Earth will be plundered for its remaining natural resources and die off becoming just another sphere of lifeless space rock eventually breaking apart into smaller and smaller pieces until turning to dust, scattering, and finally leaving the galaxy to drift into the abyss. It’s all so clear – you just need to put the pieces together.”

The actual comment left on Flipboard

Ok, let’s all take a short pause to, um….

If anyone is offended (or frightened ) by that, apologies on behalf of Lynxotic. As a writer it is important to always have something to say. This, text, this outpouring of strung together amalgamation of brand names and alien motivations has rendered this scribe… almost speechless…

To unpack this, in spite of being dumbfounded, the first thing that comes to mind is that “Spam Bot” gives Elon too much credit. Sure, he has admitted to being an alien, yes he is the wealthiest person on the planet, sure, his companies do all seem to fit together in a neat little puzzle that could enable exactly such a scenario…. But, no, it is not likely (hahaha) that this scenario is true, at least not all of it.

Actually, the idea that it was Elon’s intention all along to fire nearly all of Twitter and the mass exodus was what he wanted all along, does kind of make sense. If he really does want to rebuild it from the ground up, what better way to get rid of nearly all the employees than to find a clever (?) way to get everyone to quit (without looking really bad for firing everyone just before the holidays) .

And it will be quite entertaining to see how this plays out. For example, as we note in a new article coming today, Mastodon is growing fast and there’s an interesting possibility that a migration en mass over there could be a major upgrade.

Maybe that was Elon’s plan all along!

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